Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
