: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
