he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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