i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
