just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
