I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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