I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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