Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
