at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Watching her eat just hurts me
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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