It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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