somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
