I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
