the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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