I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
ttyl tear gas
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
