never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I need a burrito and a hug.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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