He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize