We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
