I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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