Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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