Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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