this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
