There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
