you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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