i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
