Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
