Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
