Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
