I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
