Swine flu. Run for my life!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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