Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
