just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Sext me about skeletons
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize