I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Drunk is not a location!
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