i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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