I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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