By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
