so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
