No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
