Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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