rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
