Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
