dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
