Define "chronic" masturbator.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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