The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
