oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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