I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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