Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize