At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
