no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
