I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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