I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
