id be glad to
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
