Reggie can tackle my bush.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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