I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
