Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
