jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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