we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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