If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
