so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
