I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
