real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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