dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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