I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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