STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
