how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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