He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
