idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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