walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
