Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
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