so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize