I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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