i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
