So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Everclear isn't food dammit
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
