Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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