Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
from now on my penis is your penis
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I am naked and annoyed.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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