the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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