In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
