kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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