first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
